tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2288579227914161487.post2758565803860242222..comments2024-02-19T04:54:14.059-08:00Comments on Abby's Mom Squad Blog: Forgive As My Father ForgivesAbbyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/17727698458827990957noreply@blogger.comBlogger3125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2288579227914161487.post-59155780896604256092015-08-27T11:38:17.630-07:002015-08-27T11:38:17.630-07:00Perhaps you're having a harder time with this ...Perhaps you're having a harder time with this because you were worried they'd been hurt? This wasn't the disobedience of a messy playroom or a swiped cookie. You saw blood. For one or more moments I'm sure you had that full-body-cold-ice-in-your-veins-fear that they were truly hurt. I know because I've felt that fear too, and I've been far harder on my girls when they do something that could get them hurt than for any other offense. This is because of all the things they can damage, discard, ruin, or disrespect, the only ones that truly matter to me are THEM. Your father found it easy to forgive the broken door because the door is a thing, and there is no broken thing that I would not quickly forgive my children for. The only action I would have trouble forgiving them for is doing damage to themselves, because without them my life would be a dim shadow of what it is now. Maybe that's how you can explain it to your sons--that the one offense that you cannot bear is them putting themselves in danger. And playing in a shower is, in fact, rather dangerous, because if water was running and they slipped and fell they could break a bone or crack their skull or worse. This is a lesson you can reinforce throughout their lives, the reason you will be more angry with them if they run out into traffic; stay in a pool if there's lightening; get into a car with a drunk driver. There will never be anything scarier to you, or me, as a mom, than losing our child(ren) to all the horrors of the world at large. To lose our child to their own negligence would be to heap pain and guilt upon devastation. Anything you can do to teach them that they are more valuable to you than anything in life--including staying angry at them for longer than you would for a broken door--can only reinforce the message that their foolishness would not only lead to getting themselves hurt, but would truly damage you, too. Why? Because you're a good mom, Abby. You really are. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2288579227914161487.post-31310208711413715082015-08-26T04:36:43.527-07:002015-08-26T04:36:43.527-07:00Yeah. I can't tell if I'm ever doing it ri...Yeah. I can't tell if I'm ever doing it right but the moments of "this is wrong" seem to be clear as day!Abbyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17727698458827990957noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2288579227914161487.post-71353963286963671422015-08-25T12:16:53.716-07:002015-08-25T12:16:53.716-07:00I love that this ends with questions ... because, ...I love that this ends with questions ... because, to me, it seems like parenting was (is!) all about questions. We pray to get it right but we don't actually get our answer until later ... much later ... <br /><br />Not that I'm any kind of expert (or theologian!), but I think you handled it just right. The best time to learn life-and-death lessons is when they AREN'T yet life-and-death. There are reasons for every rule and the boys have now learned that breaking rules can have big, embarrassing, possibly painful, consequences. Much better now than behind the wheel. Madelinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15294643214649502269noreply@blogger.com