False Alarm!

My husband commented last night that TV and movies have really messed with his head. He has this image of what it looks like to go into labor and our experiences so far have looked nothing like that. I figure there is no better place than the Mom Squad Blog to share the story of our false alarm, so here goes.

I woke up around 12:15am Monday (10 days til my due date of the 23rd) to go visit the little girls room. I've been doing that since I was born and think I have the whole peeing thing down pat, so when I woke my husband up to tell him that while I was in the bathroom my water broke, I was pretty darn confident. We called the doctor's office and the on-call nurse returned the call. I said with confidence, "My water broke." She asked if I'd had any contractions and I'd only had one. She said go ahead to the hospital. After our phone tree system totally broke down, my poor husband had to go next door and knock on the window of our 15 year old neighbor. He knocked and said, "Ashleigh! It's Josh. Don't freak out!" If you'd ever told me my 33 year old husband would be banging on a teenage girl's window in the middle of the night I would have had some serious questions to ask!

We headed to the hospital and arrive around 1am. Cutting to the chase, they did two different tests and reported back that my water had not broken. I think my reaction was, "Are you serious?" They sent me to get an ultrasound to measure the amount of amniotic fluid and there was plenty. The tech did say that since I hadn't had an ultrasound since my 20 week appointment he can't say if I'd LOST any fluid (no levels to compare it to) but that the amount he measured was perfect and baby looked fine. He also estimated that the little lad is already at 8lbs. Ouch.

While we were having the ultrasound, which took about 25 minutes I had three very strong contractions. I was almost squirming and I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so even as he was saying, there's plenty of fluid and the other tests came back negative, I was still thinking that we were having this baby.

We head back to our other room and the painful contractions stop, although I'd been having mini ones since 12:15. The doctor said it was probably because I had to lay flat and my oxygen levels were down that the contractions got stronger.

At this point it's about 3:30am and my husband comments that our alarm is going off in an hour to get up for work. The doctor asks me what I do for a living and I say, "I work on the morning show at a radio station." She stares at me and just says, "You're Abby."

There are certain instances in life where an amount of anonymity is desired. This is one of them. She said, "I listen every morning!" I said, "You just saw my nether-region".  Awkward!

The doctor is ready to send us home except for the fact that my blood pressure is sky-high. She keeps asking me preeclampsia type questions and they turn down the lights so I can relax before getting one more reading on my BP. All ends up well and we get in the car to head home around 5am.

Honestly, I still don't believe it. You know the whole, "You know your body best" women's intuition thing. I still think it was my water breaking in some form. Not that I don't trust the doctors or their tests. I do! I just keep replaying that moment in my head and am so confused.

The other odd thing is how this is the complete opposite from what happened when Liam was born. My water broke and I had no idea. After about six hours I finally called the doctor and they told us to go in. No contractions. When I got there the test read positive, still no contractions. When the nurse said my water broke, I said, "So what does that mean?" Duh. It means you're having a baby today! This time, I was sure it was my water, and I had a few contractions and we got the boot!

The good news is that I have my 38 week appointment today and it's with the same doctor as the other night, so we don't have to do a recap, just cut right to the chase!

Anyone have a similar story? Of course I looked online and saw a woman's post that two tests came up negative and the fluid levels looked fine and they had the baby the next day. What's your crazy labor story? 

A Prize for MOM!

First things first, yes, you can nominate yourself. Voting is open now for our Momentous Mom contest. Listen to the calls here and help a mother out with your vote! For the rest of us, we have our Mother's Day Prayer bookmarks. Just email contest@spiritfm905.com with your name and address if you want one and we'll pop one in the mail.

And exclusive to the Mom Squad Blog is another sweet prize. I have a gift pack from iMOM.com (a t-shirt and copy of Susan Merrill's book, The Passionate Mom, Dare to Parent in Today's World) and a one hour massage from In His Hands Massage Therapy. The massage can be in-home or at the massage facility.

To enter to win the prize, just leave a comment below telling me your FAVORITE part of being a mom.

Bedtime is not an acceptable answer.

If I could win, my entry would say: The last five minutes before bed when we cuddle and hug and say our prayers. Liam is practicing making the sign of the cross which pretty much means he taps his shoulder and his chest, and then says "men" after I say "A". It's the best moment of my day!

Prayer Craps

I had a feeling that headline would get your attention. I'm referring to the dice game, craps, of course. I came across this idea and think it's awfully cute. I don't know what age is the right age to try this since the older kids might think it's lame, but who knows. Maybe you can put a spin on it that would make it more appealing to the "mature" crowd. If you have a brood of children you could also have a second cube (more authentic to the actual game of craps) and write a name on each side. Whichever name comes up is the spokesperson for the prayer time.

If you aren't Catholic and don't have the selection of written prayers (although I encourage you to check out  the "Guardian Angel" prayer and the "Glory Be" especially) you could have on one side, "Pray for a friend" and on another, "What are you thankful for today?". The sky is the limit! And it's a dice game where you'll be a winner every time!

Not that I need an excuse to eat ice cream...

Mercy never tasted so good!

On Sunday I was thinking about ice cream during church. Oops. Can I use the pregnancy excuse? Here's the back story though: A new ice cream joint opened up in Brandon and I mentioned it a couple of times on the air. Apparently my enthusiasm for the ice cream was contagious and more than a few people ended up going in and saying they heard about it from me. By the way, if you want to go enjoy some wacky & delicious ice cream, check out The Revolution. Yum...

My mom and I were chatting about the number of people who referred to me at The Rev and I said, "I must speak pretty passionately about ice cream. I'm pretty convincing!" She said, "You DO!" So on Sunday, I'm in church thinking about this and this question entered my mind: Abby, do you speak as passionately about your faith as you do about ice cream? It's clear that you love ice cream. Is it clear that you love your faith?

Maybe you're not a fan of ice cream. Unless you're lactose intolerant, I take serious issue with that, but I'm now is not a time to argue. Is there something else in your life that you love so much that in just one or two sentences you could "sell it". Because that's really all the time I devoted to talking about The Revolution on the air. Wouldn't it be cool if our love for Jesus was so alive and exciting that it wouldn't take a long sit-down chat or argument to give someone else the desire to know Him too?

I shared the above thoughts on the air the other day and my buddy, Colleen sent me this link with the comment, "I'd like to think you we're just tying your faith into more tangible 'loves' here on Earth...CLEARLY you were thinking about these at Mass!" This past Sunday was Divine Mercy Sunday and the link is to... wait for it... DIVINE MERCY SUNDAES!!!

I missed the boat on these and I don't have children old enough to use as an excuse for making them as a way to illustrate our faith, but who cares! I say make 'em anyway! Apparently the site also has "Trinity Sundaes" and "Pentecost Sundaes" (and both are coming up in May)! They are a great way to treat and teach the kiddos at the same time!

Patience

This is not an easy thing to admit and I don't say it flippantly: I am often tempted to lash out physically when I get angry. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I find it natural to express myself with my hands and through touch. Yes, my name is Abby and I'm a toucher! I hug on impulse!

I knew that this short fuse when it comes to anger and frustration would be challenged when I had children. I remember sitting in my friend's kitchen, about 5 months pregnant and crying, saying, "I swatted at the cat out of anger the other day. What if I'm tempted to hit my child?!" She laughed at me and my irrationality, but I was seriously concerned. What if I got so angry that I couldn't control myself? This has been tested over and over again on the changing table. How many times could I flip him back over when he squirms and wiggles and tries to crawl away? One time I lost it. I grabbed his arms so tight, smacked him on the leg, screaming in his tiny face, "LAY! STILL! NOW!" I immediately felt bad and looked at his arms to see if there were hand prints. From that day on I prayed that God would help me with my patience. "Lord, please! I don't want to be this kind of parent. Give me the grace to be patient!"

Mark 11: 24 says, Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. The light bulb finally went off in my head a few years ago that God will quickly answer our prayers when they are aligned with His will. The ones that aren't He WILL answer, but those answers might not come in the way we expect them or in the time that we wish. Often He wants to take some time to work on our desires and our relationship with Him. 

I say all that because since I started praying for the grace to be more patient with Liam, I have felt it! I haven't had that teeth-clenched rage build up inside of me and when I have had real moments of anger, I've had the piece of mind to know that I am on the verge of losing it and I need to take a deep breath. 

Tomorrow morning we're going to discuss this article from Susan Merrill of iMOM. She, too struggles with patience. Do you? Honestly, I can't imagine any mom who doesn't! Our children test us, push us, aggravate us... they NEED us. That need is just communicated in ways other than "Mom I need you." Whether it is patience or another fruit of the spirit (self-control, peace, kindness, joy...) that you are in need of, ask God to provide it and He will! Listen tomorrow at 7 for a chat about this!

Do I Listen With Talking Ears?

Last week during prayer time, I reflected on that question. Do I listen with talking ears? A friend sent me a text later asking where I got that from. I got to report back to her that it came from my own brain. For once, I had a profound thought! Check back in 364 days for the next one!

I figured I'd share a bit more about it since I know it's something that I need to focus on again and again.

The Thought for the Day that morning was from the gospel of John chapter 5, versus 39 and 40: 

You search the Scriptures, because you think you have eternal life through them; even they testify on my behalf. But you do not want to come to me to have life.

Jesus is pointing out that these folks who knew scripture backwards and forwards were using it to serve themselves instead of hearing the truth that the words held. He goes on to say that they claim the words of Moses are true, but here those words are, in the flesh, right in front of them and they are not seeing it. 

They were reading what they wanted to read and hearing what they wanted to hear. 

Are we guilty of this?

My takeaway was to reflect on all the times I've "listened" to God through a sermon or the words in the Bible  with "talking ears" or "self-serving ears" instead of "hearing ears". Every morning I listen to Food For the Journey with Sr. Ann Shields. It comes on around 5:10am. She reflects on the daily readings and often times something she says will be the spring board for my reflection during the Thought for the Day segments. So I'll often find myself listening to her, trying to think of how I could reiterate her sentiments or lesson. Then I knock myself in the head and say, "Abby! Just listen! Don't worry about how to share this on the air. Just hear it for yourself." Who knows, maybe the message she's sharing on a particular day isn't meant for others, it's meant for Abby. 

This idea of "talking ears" also applies to hearing God's word with the intent of forcing it upon other people. If you listen so you can spit it back out to prove a point, you are probably not hearing it with the right heart. Wouldn't it be much more effective if you take those words and lessons into your heart and become a walking, talking example of them instead of just a parrot? It is easy for people to detect a phony. If the words that come out are empty or from a place of pride and judgement, then they are just a playback. However, when they are knitted into your core being, when you hear them with ears eager to learn and accept, they become not just arranged letters, but truth and life and love. 

Rest Your Head, Little One. Just Not There.

Warning: Gross factor of about a 2.5 ahead!

I've heard grumblings aplenty from moms regarding the lack of privacy when it comes to time in the ladies room. Yesterday I experienced this on a new level. Liam likes to walk around the bathroom but I usually stop him when he tries to head towards the back of the toilet. That's my limit! Well, yesterday while I was going to the bathroom he must've either felt very loving or very tired because be decided he needed to rest his head on my lap. I was slightly disgusted, but more flattered.

There comes a point in every person's life when the gross outweighs the love. I love my mom and my husband, but resting my head in their "lap" is just not gonna happen!! And I have a feeling they are just fine with this. But there is something so beautiful and pure about the connection a child feels to his mother. It's so strong that there is no other thought of what could be proper or expected at this moment. He just wants to be by mom! Who cares if she is mid-pee!

A Sacrificial Lent

Considering a pregnancy takes three-quarters of a year, chances are, you're going to be pregnant for a particular season or holiday. One season that sticks out for me in both of my pregnancies though, is Lent. I was newly pregnant for the Lenten season of 2011 and this time I am in my third trimester. Both times, I feel like God has been sending me a message about how we act when that little life is growing inside of us.

A couple of days ago I was chatting with Julie Musselman, one of our Mom Squad Bloggers. I'd asked her what she gave up for Lent and how it was going. We chatted for a second about pregnant women being exempt from the fasting portion of the Lenten disciplines of prayer, fasting & almsgiving. My thought to share with her was that I feel like Lent is a great time to be pregnant because it keeps the self-centeredness at bay. An expectant mother comes in a very close second to a bride in the race for most irrational women on earth. In both cases, we give excuses - stress, most important day of her life (for the bride) and hormones, discomfort, "I'm carrying a life here!" (for the pregnant one). Yes, one of those scenarios seems a little more excusable, but it's still not nice! (acknowledging my use of a 5 year old's word)

I have really enjoyed the very gentle reminder during these 40 days that it's SO not all about me. God is kind; He doesn't whack me over the head with it or send a messenger with a snarky comment to put me in my place. It's just that constant nudge that while I might be "exempt" in a way, I still need to focus on others more than myself and that even more important than taking care of the human that is kicking me from the inside out at this very moment, is the need to take care of my relationship with Him.

Julie's reassuring words were, "You know that you ARE sacrificing more than ever at this time." I agreed, aware that my rear end & thighs were expanding and my back was aching, but my reply was, "Yes, but I don't need to make everyone else sacrifice along with me and make their lives miserable!"

The perfect example of this self-sacrifice even in the moments where it is not expected is Mary. She was in her first trimester and traveled to be with Elizabeth to help her with her final months of pregnancy. It's nice to think that maybe since she was going to endure some serious emotional agony ("And a sword will pierce your very heart", Luke ch 2), that God had mercy on her and neglected to "bless" her with morning sickness, but chances are, she had at least a few moments of queasiness. She rode on a donkey for goodness sake!

She put aside her own needs and aches and took the long journey to serve. What a beautiful way to experience this season of sacrifice!

You Ate Cereal Today!

Today, you dragged the crock pot
to the patio!

I am happy to say I filled out a baby book for Liam. It's not complete, but I did my best to write on most every page. There's one child who won't need therapy! Baby #2 is another story. I'm the second born and I remember the day I found my sister's baby book. I found a second book right under it and started thumbing through, excited to read what my parents wrote about my first months of life. Alas... the book was for the dog.

I'm not bitter though...

I have always struggled with journaling on a consistent basis, so I knew that any kind of record-keeping for my children would probably face the same fate. Then I heard of a neat idea. A way to "journal" some of the special moments in a 21st century kind-of-way. Create an email account for your child and email him or her when you want to share something special. Then on a particular birthday, you give them the username and password. They get to peruse the emails you've been sending them over the years and laugh, cry or blush. I know, I know. Who knows if that particular email provider will be around in say, 16 years when you give your child this "gift" but it's worth a shot, right?

I love this because, thanks to my phone, I can email Liam at a moment's notice with a special thought or message of love. It also makes me send him more "minor" things and I think those emails are the ones that will really mean something special. He won't just know when he got his first tooth or what his first few words were, he'll also know, for example, that on February 20th, 2013 he ate cereal with milk for the first time! He's eaten dry cereal before, but this was the first bowl, spoon, cereal & milk event. It was Honey Nut Cheerios (yes, I should have opted for regular Cheerios) and he got to drink the milk afterwards too. He LOVED the milk! I love that I will be able to share how I'm feeling about his special moments, too. Anxiety over his first day of school or excitement in the lead up to his First Holy Communion. It's a great way to share how God is leading you in your parenting. You can even share what prayers you've said over the years.

If your child is already 7 or 10 or 15 years old, start this anyway. It will mean something to them. I guarantee it!