1. My professional cheerleading career is being put on hold.
2. My professional radio career is going to get tricky for a while
And 3. My kids just hit the mom jackpot.
After about three months of struggling with on and off hoarseness, I finally went to an Ear, Nose & Throat doctor. He told me I have a hematoma (a blood blister) on my right vocal cord as a result of a hemorrhage. After we discussed the problem, he started explaining the solution. The first thing he asked is if I have small children. I laughed. "A three and a one year old!", I said, wide eyed. He sighed and put his head down, knowing that complete vocal rest is not an option. Then I added, "And I do a morning show on the radio!" He said, "Well, you're about to take an extended leave."
After a bit of back-and-forth, and if I'm understanding him correctly, I have three options. Cue list #2 of this blog post:
1. Immediate surgery which will put me out of commission for about a month.
2. Ignoring it and doing permanent damage to my vocal cords and potentially losing my voice completely.
3. Resting my voice and using medication to try to let that hematoma heal before it develops a callous (permanent damage).
So we are going for option 3. I'm taking steroids for the next six days that in his words, "will make your butt get big." Awesome. Thanks, Doc. And using an inhaler twice a day which, if I don't rinse my mouth after using, again, in his words "you'll get a yeast infection in your mouth." Isn't he just FULL of happy news?!
When I got home from the doctor I pulled Liam aside and told him he was going to have to be a very good listener and do things the first time I tell him because I can't talk very much. I'm sure in his 3-year-old mind this meant for the next thirty seconds. I didn't want to get into the three weeks thing. I might as well say three decades. Later that night I tried my best at charades to ask him if he wanted to watch an episode of Curious George. Yes, I scratched under my arms to mimic a monkey. He just stared at me like I'm nuts. Thank God these boys aren't older or else I'm sure they would take advantage of the "no yelling" thing.
I am sure God will use this to show me that as a self-professed "yeller" I don't need to raise my voice at my kids as much. I am actually kinda curious to see how they will react to me not talking to them as much. We talked about fruits of the Spirit this morning on the show and self-control is one that I will need to exercise more than ever. I CANNOT yell at my kids for the next three weeks. Challenge accepted. I guess!
The other side of this diagnosis is work. The staff is on-board with not talking to me for a while. I didn't have to twist many arms. I've found that when I whisper, so does the person I'm talking with, so there have been a lot of quiet conversations around the office. But the bigger issue: I talk for four hours a day AND we have Hopesgiving (our on-air fundraiser) the third week of what is supposed to be a three week period of rest! AHHHH! (That was a silent scream.)
You could say this mom/radio host/naturally chatty gal is a little overwhelmed. What's the point, God? What are you showing me here? Is this all going to be ok? Actually how big is my butt going to get?
I went to the scriptures for some peace. Funny enough, the woman in these verses was suffering from a hemorrhage too, but hers had been going on for twelve years! I thought I was bad about going to the doctor. I kid! I kid!
A woman suffering hemorrhages for twelve years came up behind him and touched the tassel on his cloak. She said to herself, “If only I can touch his cloak, I shall be cured.” Jesus turned around and saw her, and said, “Courage, daughter! Your faith has saved you.” And from that hour the woman was cured.
Could you please say a prayer for me? For healing, self-control and that when all of this is said and done some of my jeans still fit. Thanks. You're in my prayers, too.