God's Children

The other day I caught myself thinking unkind thoughts about someone. I honestly can't remember who it was or what I was thinking, but I do remember what made me stop what I was doing: Being a mom.

Several years ago my best friend and I were talking about people we saw at the local Wal-Mart who were less than clean and not using the most polite language. Let me just say, I'm not proud of this conversation, and I don't have any problem with Wal-Mart. I shop there all the time. Back to the point, we were putting them down and she said, "Well, they're God's children, too."

She's right.

That comment is so elementary but we sometimes cast off the simple stuff when we become more "spiritually mature." It has stayed with me for years and has taken on an entirely different meaning now that I'm a mom.

You see, the fastest way for someone to get to my heart is to be nice to my kids. And conversely, the fastest way to my bad side is to be mean to them. I took Liam to the play area at the mall a few months ago and he waved and said hello to another mom. She did a half-smile and kind of rolled her eyes at him. Excuse me? Did you not see, feel and hear the cuteness that was coming at you just then? What's wrong with you, lady? In a split second, she became my worst enemy.

I am so in love with my kids that whatever is done to them is done to me. When someone is mean to them, I hurt. When someone is kind to them, I feel all warm and fuzzy and want to give that person a big hug.

So if I say something rude about someone, I'm doing to God what the play area mom did to me. Yikes. Not good.

Thankfully, God is way more forgiving and understanding than I am, but that isn't a green light to speak unkindly to or about one of his kids. I want God to always want to give me a big hug, not be in pain because of my unkind words. Just like me, the way to God's heart is to be kind to his children. It's so elementary and so "what it's all about" all at the same time.

"It's not forever" vs "It's not forever"

Introducing Graham, aka, Mr. Grammar

After a long hiatus, I'm happy to be back. My maternity leave was not technically from the Mom Squad, but if you've ever had a toddler running around, you know how difficult it can be to find time to sit at the computer.

At this moment, I'm sitting in the handicapped stall at work... pumping. Too much information? Yes. I also have to escape during the 6am hour for a quick session because Graham would normally eat at 7. Poor Fernando. He knows things that no single, 20-something guy should know. Escaping during a quick-paced morning show to be strapped to a machine is not advised in Radio 101. It's surely not easy and it's not fun. I find myself saying, "Don't worry. It's not forever." 

I also said that during a few hectic moments this summer. Like when Liam poured out my glass of water before I could grab it from him because I was feeding the little one. Or during one of the middle of the night wakings that pulled me out of a much-needed restful state. "It's not forever, Abby. This phase will pass."

I also found myself saying, "It's not forever" during some of the most cherished moments. Like when Liam, Graham & my husband all snuggled in bed together or when Liam "boops" Graham's nose. I watch them and think, "It's not forever that we'll be in this place. They will be grown before I know it."

It's funny how the statement can be said in two different ways. One way with a hope in the promise of things getting better or easier in the near future and the other with a sad realization that the moment won't last forever and we'll soon be looking back longingly.

It's an overused phrase, but "carpe diem!". Seize the day! For while it might be filled with challenges, it's a gift and what a shame it will be to look back when they are all grown up and realize you always wanted tomorrow. That might just leave you longing for yesterday.  

False Alarm!

My husband commented last night that TV and movies have really messed with his head. He has this image of what it looks like to go into labor and our experiences so far have looked nothing like that. I figure there is no better place than the Mom Squad Blog to share the story of our false alarm, so here goes.

I woke up around 12:15am Monday (10 days til my due date of the 23rd) to go visit the little girls room. I've been doing that since I was born and think I have the whole peeing thing down pat, so when I woke my husband up to tell him that while I was in the bathroom my water broke, I was pretty darn confident. We called the doctor's office and the on-call nurse returned the call. I said with confidence, "My water broke." She asked if I'd had any contractions and I'd only had one. She said go ahead to the hospital. After our phone tree system totally broke down, my poor husband had to go next door and knock on the window of our 15 year old neighbor. He knocked and said, "Ashleigh! It's Josh. Don't freak out!" If you'd ever told me my 33 year old husband would be banging on a teenage girl's window in the middle of the night I would have had some serious questions to ask!

We headed to the hospital and arrive around 1am. Cutting to the chase, they did two different tests and reported back that my water had not broken. I think my reaction was, "Are you serious?" They sent me to get an ultrasound to measure the amount of amniotic fluid and there was plenty. The tech did say that since I hadn't had an ultrasound since my 20 week appointment he can't say if I'd LOST any fluid (no levels to compare it to) but that the amount he measured was perfect and baby looked fine. He also estimated that the little lad is already at 8lbs. Ouch.

While we were having the ultrasound, which took about 25 minutes I had three very strong contractions. I was almost squirming and I like to think I have a pretty high tolerance for pain, so even as he was saying, there's plenty of fluid and the other tests came back negative, I was still thinking that we were having this baby.

We head back to our other room and the painful contractions stop, although I'd been having mini ones since 12:15. The doctor said it was probably because I had to lay flat and my oxygen levels were down that the contractions got stronger.

At this point it's about 3:30am and my husband comments that our alarm is going off in an hour to get up for work. The doctor asks me what I do for a living and I say, "I work on the morning show at a radio station." She stares at me and just says, "You're Abby."

There are certain instances in life where an amount of anonymity is desired. This is one of them. She said, "I listen every morning!" I said, "You just saw my nether-region".  Awkward!

The doctor is ready to send us home except for the fact that my blood pressure is sky-high. She keeps asking me preeclampsia type questions and they turn down the lights so I can relax before getting one more reading on my BP. All ends up well and we get in the car to head home around 5am.

Honestly, I still don't believe it. You know the whole, "You know your body best" women's intuition thing. I still think it was my water breaking in some form. Not that I don't trust the doctors or their tests. I do! I just keep replaying that moment in my head and am so confused.

The other odd thing is how this is the complete opposite from what happened when Liam was born. My water broke and I had no idea. After about six hours I finally called the doctor and they told us to go in. No contractions. When I got there the test read positive, still no contractions. When the nurse said my water broke, I said, "So what does that mean?" Duh. It means you're having a baby today! This time, I was sure it was my water, and I had a few contractions and we got the boot!

The good news is that I have my 38 week appointment today and it's with the same doctor as the other night, so we don't have to do a recap, just cut right to the chase!

Anyone have a similar story? Of course I looked online and saw a woman's post that two tests came up negative and the fluid levels looked fine and they had the baby the next day. What's your crazy labor story? 

A Prize for MOM!

First things first, yes, you can nominate yourself. Voting is open now for our Momentous Mom contest. Listen to the calls here and help a mother out with your vote! For the rest of us, we have our Mother's Day Prayer bookmarks. Just email contest@spiritfm905.com with your name and address if you want one and we'll pop one in the mail.

And exclusive to the Mom Squad Blog is another sweet prize. I have a gift pack from iMOM.com (a t-shirt and copy of Susan Merrill's book, The Passionate Mom, Dare to Parent in Today's World) and a one hour massage from In His Hands Massage Therapy. The massage can be in-home or at the massage facility.

To enter to win the prize, just leave a comment below telling me your FAVORITE part of being a mom.

Bedtime is not an acceptable answer.

If I could win, my entry would say: The last five minutes before bed when we cuddle and hug and say our prayers. Liam is practicing making the sign of the cross which pretty much means he taps his shoulder and his chest, and then says "men" after I say "A". It's the best moment of my day!

Prayer Craps

I had a feeling that headline would get your attention. I'm referring to the dice game, craps, of course. I came across this idea and think it's awfully cute. I don't know what age is the right age to try this since the older kids might think it's lame, but who knows. Maybe you can put a spin on it that would make it more appealing to the "mature" crowd. If you have a brood of children you could also have a second cube (more authentic to the actual game of craps) and write a name on each side. Whichever name comes up is the spokesperson for the prayer time.

If you aren't Catholic and don't have the selection of written prayers (although I encourage you to check out  the "Guardian Angel" prayer and the "Glory Be" especially) you could have on one side, "Pray for a friend" and on another, "What are you thankful for today?". The sky is the limit! And it's a dice game where you'll be a winner every time!

Not that I need an excuse to eat ice cream...

Mercy never tasted so good!

On Sunday I was thinking about ice cream during church. Oops. Can I use the pregnancy excuse? Here's the back story though: A new ice cream joint opened up in Brandon and I mentioned it a couple of times on the air. Apparently my enthusiasm for the ice cream was contagious and more than a few people ended up going in and saying they heard about it from me. By the way, if you want to go enjoy some wacky & delicious ice cream, check out The Revolution. Yum...

My mom and I were chatting about the number of people who referred to me at The Rev and I said, "I must speak pretty passionately about ice cream. I'm pretty convincing!" She said, "You DO!" So on Sunday, I'm in church thinking about this and this question entered my mind: Abby, do you speak as passionately about your faith as you do about ice cream? It's clear that you love ice cream. Is it clear that you love your faith?

Maybe you're not a fan of ice cream. Unless you're lactose intolerant, I take serious issue with that, but I'm now is not a time to argue. Is there something else in your life that you love so much that in just one or two sentences you could "sell it". Because that's really all the time I devoted to talking about The Revolution on the air. Wouldn't it be cool if our love for Jesus was so alive and exciting that it wouldn't take a long sit-down chat or argument to give someone else the desire to know Him too?

I shared the above thoughts on the air the other day and my buddy, Colleen sent me this link with the comment, "I'd like to think you we're just tying your faith into more tangible 'loves' here on Earth...CLEARLY you were thinking about these at Mass!" This past Sunday was Divine Mercy Sunday and the link is to... wait for it... DIVINE MERCY SUNDAES!!!

I missed the boat on these and I don't have children old enough to use as an excuse for making them as a way to illustrate our faith, but who cares! I say make 'em anyway! Apparently the site also has "Trinity Sundaes" and "Pentecost Sundaes" (and both are coming up in May)! They are a great way to treat and teach the kiddos at the same time!

Patience

This is not an easy thing to admit and I don't say it flippantly: I am often tempted to lash out physically when I get angry. I don't know why. Maybe it's because I find it natural to express myself with my hands and through touch. Yes, my name is Abby and I'm a toucher! I hug on impulse!

I knew that this short fuse when it comes to anger and frustration would be challenged when I had children. I remember sitting in my friend's kitchen, about 5 months pregnant and crying, saying, "I swatted at the cat out of anger the other day. What if I'm tempted to hit my child?!" She laughed at me and my irrationality, but I was seriously concerned. What if I got so angry that I couldn't control myself? This has been tested over and over again on the changing table. How many times could I flip him back over when he squirms and wiggles and tries to crawl away? One time I lost it. I grabbed his arms so tight, smacked him on the leg, screaming in his tiny face, "LAY! STILL! NOW!" I immediately felt bad and looked at his arms to see if there were hand prints. From that day on I prayed that God would help me with my patience. "Lord, please! I don't want to be this kind of parent. Give me the grace to be patient!"

Mark 11: 24 says, Therefore I tell you, all that you ask for in prayer, believe that you will receive it and it shall be yours. The light bulb finally went off in my head a few years ago that God will quickly answer our prayers when they are aligned with His will. The ones that aren't He WILL answer, but those answers might not come in the way we expect them or in the time that we wish. Often He wants to take some time to work on our desires and our relationship with Him. 

I say all that because since I started praying for the grace to be more patient with Liam, I have felt it! I haven't had that teeth-clenched rage build up inside of me and when I have had real moments of anger, I've had the piece of mind to know that I am on the verge of losing it and I need to take a deep breath. 

Tomorrow morning we're going to discuss this article from Susan Merrill of iMOM. She, too struggles with patience. Do you? Honestly, I can't imagine any mom who doesn't! Our children test us, push us, aggravate us... they NEED us. That need is just communicated in ways other than "Mom I need you." Whether it is patience or another fruit of the spirit (self-control, peace, kindness, joy...) that you are in need of, ask God to provide it and He will! Listen tomorrow at 7 for a chat about this!

Do I Listen With Talking Ears?

Last week during prayer time, I reflected on that question. Do I listen with talking ears? A friend sent me a text later asking where I got that from. I got to report back to her that it came from my own brain. For once, I had a profound thought! Check back in 364 days for the next one!

I figured I'd share a bit more about it since I know it's something that I need to focus on again and again.

The Thought for the Day that morning was from the gospel of John chapter 5, versus 39 and 40: 

You search the Scriptures, because you think you have eternal life through them; even they testify on my behalf. But you do not want to come to me to have life.

Jesus is pointing out that these folks who knew scripture backwards and forwards were using it to serve themselves instead of hearing the truth that the words held. He goes on to say that they claim the words of Moses are true, but here those words are, in the flesh, right in front of them and they are not seeing it. 

They were reading what they wanted to read and hearing what they wanted to hear. 

Are we guilty of this?

My takeaway was to reflect on all the times I've "listened" to God through a sermon or the words in the Bible  with "talking ears" or "self-serving ears" instead of "hearing ears". Every morning I listen to Food For the Journey with Sr. Ann Shields. It comes on around 5:10am. She reflects on the daily readings and often times something she says will be the spring board for my reflection during the Thought for the Day segments. So I'll often find myself listening to her, trying to think of how I could reiterate her sentiments or lesson. Then I knock myself in the head and say, "Abby! Just listen! Don't worry about how to share this on the air. Just hear it for yourself." Who knows, maybe the message she's sharing on a particular day isn't meant for others, it's meant for Abby. 

This idea of "talking ears" also applies to hearing God's word with the intent of forcing it upon other people. If you listen so you can spit it back out to prove a point, you are probably not hearing it with the right heart. Wouldn't it be much more effective if you take those words and lessons into your heart and become a walking, talking example of them instead of just a parrot? It is easy for people to detect a phony. If the words that come out are empty or from a place of pride and judgement, then they are just a playback. However, when they are knitted into your core being, when you hear them with ears eager to learn and accept, they become not just arranged letters, but truth and life and love. 

Rest Your Head, Little One. Just Not There.

Warning: Gross factor of about a 2.5 ahead!

I've heard grumblings aplenty from moms regarding the lack of privacy when it comes to time in the ladies room. Yesterday I experienced this on a new level. Liam likes to walk around the bathroom but I usually stop him when he tries to head towards the back of the toilet. That's my limit! Well, yesterday while I was going to the bathroom he must've either felt very loving or very tired because be decided he needed to rest his head on my lap. I was slightly disgusted, but more flattered.

There comes a point in every person's life when the gross outweighs the love. I love my mom and my husband, but resting my head in their "lap" is just not gonna happen!! And I have a feeling they are just fine with this. But there is something so beautiful and pure about the connection a child feels to his mother. It's so strong that there is no other thought of what could be proper or expected at this moment. He just wants to be by mom! Who cares if she is mid-pee!